Maximun Payne…

             The new Mark Wahlberg film lives up to all the Hollywood expectations, but fails in comparison to the game. I went to the movie, hoping to relive a historic part of my childhood. As one of my first games for the Xbox, I remember being hypnotized by the slow motion dives and dual-wielding pistol fire that solidified Max Payne in the videogame hall of fame.

            Alas, as I was with Tomb Raider, I was disappointed. The story is about Max Payne, a cop who lost his family to drug fiends, addicted to Valkyr, and will do anything to get revenge. The drug of choice, Valkyr, gives a select few super-human powers, while simultaneously making them groveling addicts

            Max Payne is a perfect example of why video-game movie cannot compete with regular movies. Too much violence, too many drugs and not enough plot development. While this formula works well with video games, it doesn’t play out to well on the big screen. While playing the video game, I had the power. I could choose who to blast with my glocs, but in the theater, I felt powerless. I had no control over the textbook lines and poor delivery. My shouts went to deaf ears as I yelled to the screen, pleading for a refund on my childhood.

            As the movie progressed, I had this funny notion that the director, John Moore, might have been injecting some of the Valkyr used in the film. Moore’s failed attempt at making his movie memorable seemed to come straight from the syringe. An example of Moore’s drugged-out ideas was having Ludacris play one of the detectives. Each time he was involved in an action scene I kept waiting for him to yell, “Move *it**, get out the way!”

            In a last ditch effort to save the movie, Moore added the classically sleezy “secret scene” after all the credits had run. If there ever is a sequel, to which the “secret scene” refers, I hope people will resist the urge to return for a second dose of Payne.

One Response

1. 11:48 AM on November 24th, 2008Erica Gibbons:

   What on earth are you saying?! The BEST part of the movie was when Ludachris came storming in with his fantastic voice. Geeze what a gangster. Oh and I totally thought Moore was on Valkyr too. I’ve never played the game, so I didn’t know what to expect, but I was thoroughly dissatisfied. But, then again…what can you expect from Hollywood movies now adays? Now they just need to come out with a Grand Theft Auto movie and we’ll be set for life!

   P.S. mark wahlberg is terribly sexy!

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